Basic Manners and Etiquette while in a French Dining Restaurant

Tabled manners could be considered sacred, especially when you're on a class restaurant.
but certainly never mind for others. Knowing your table manners gives you more confidence in embracing new dining experiences, whether It's dinner at a fancy restaurant, job interviews over a meal, or a meal at a friend's home. my first Dinner on a French restaurant (Hanzoya located in Yokohama japan)was a truly wonderful experience. I remember I was taking a delicious bite of Chateaubriand steak when my friend leaned over and said in a gentle voice, Keep your hands on the table.

-Note to remember before Go-

-Dress code-
In order to get a proper treatment, you need to come in a proper attire in this kind of dining place. business casual attire, jackets are preferred.
taboo are: jeans, sneakers, shorts, t-shirts or flip flops. if you you arrive wearing with this, door man unfortunately not letting you in.

-Sitting-
Sit a comfortable distance away from the table, so that with the elbows bent the hands are level with the knives and forks.
Sit up straight, sit square with hands in the lap and do not fidget. Do not put elbows on the table.

-Ordering-
In French restaurant, dinners don’t always order their entire meal at once. Instead, the waiter will often go around taking appetizer orders first, then go around again for the main course. Only after all food orders have been taken will drinks be ordered.

(www.fluentu.com)

-Napkin-
other French restaurant will immediately put their napkin on their lap, and some will not. after many times dining in a their restaurant, I still have not quite figured it out. I have come to understand that is has nothing to do with class or education,you will not be poorly looked upon for not placing a napkin on your knees immediately.

(wikihow.com)

-Hands-
in french restaurant it is important to see your hands at all times. Otherwise, who knows what you might be doing with them. but elbows and hands-Do not place them on the table. It's considered unsanitary. And keep your hands out of your lap and up where they can be seen always.

-Wine,Champagne or any Drinks-
you don’t have to force yourself to drink it, if you don’t like alcohol and don’t feel guilty if you don’t. Wine drinking in France was optional. others are happy to drink for the cause.The French only fill the glass half way. A full glass is simply bad manners. To the French it does not make sense to put more liquid in a glass that is not almost empty. If you are not yet finished with what you are drinking, why add more.

(gofrance.about.com)

-Proper way of eating soup-
Hold the soup spoon by resting the end of the handle on your middle finger, with your thumb on top. Dip the spoon sideways into the soup at the near edge of the bowl, then skim from the front of the bowl to the back. Sip from the side of the spoon, avoid improper table manners and do not to slurp. To retrieve the last spoonful of soup, slightly tip the bowl away from you and spoon in the way that works best.

(www.monkeysee.com)

-Eating-
Do not begin eating until everyone has been served, unless the host or hostess gives their permission for diners to start.
Eat at a relaxed pace and pace yourself to match your fellow diners.
Keep your mouth closed and try to avoid making noises of any kind while eating, either with implements against the plate or teeth, or with actual ingestion of the food.

-Sharing food-
I think "You just HAVE to taste..." sharing of small amounts is acceptable if only because it's so complimentary. Trading halfway through a course needs to be done quietly to be acceptable.

-After meal-
When you have finished, place your knife and fork - with the tines facing upwards - together on your plate, something like the image below.

(articles.baltimoresun.com)

If you are confronted with a plateful that is not to your taste, try to soldier on to avoid hurt feelings. Always compliment the cook.

Hopefully this basic tutorials on French table manners will help you feel confident and comfortable during at your mealtime.

(source article by: by www.debretts.com )

Wellness Tips: How to Manage Life Free of Stress

Stress is a part of life, a normal response to demands either emotional, intellectual, or physical. It can be positive, if it keeps us alert, It can be negative if you don't know how to handle it (by wikipedia.org).
Managing stress is key to your health. And it isn't so very difficult to do.
How Does Stress Affect Health? according to the Psychiatrist of WebMD - The body's autonomic nervous system has a built-in stress response that causes physiological changes to allow the body to combat stressful situations. This stress response, also known as the "fight or flight response," is activated in case of an emergency. However, this response can become chronically activated during prolonged periods of stress, which can cause wear and tear on the body -- both physical and emotional.

Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called 'Distress' a negative stress reaction. Distress can disturb the body's internal balance or equilibrium, leading to physical symptoms such as headaches, an upset stomach, elevated blood pressure, chest pain, sexual dysfunction, and problems sleeping.
Emotional problems can also result from distress. These problems include depression, panic attacks, or other forms of anxiety and worry. Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases. Stress is linked to six of the leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.
Stress also becomes harmful when people engage in the compulsive use of substances or behaviors to try to relieve their stress. These substances or behaviors may include food, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, gambling, sex, shopping, and the Internet. Rather than relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state, these substances and compulsive behaviors tend to keep the body in a stressed state causing more problems. The distressed person becomes trapped in a vicious circle.

-Warning and Signs of Stress-
Chronic stress can wear down the body's natural defenses, leading to a variety of physical symptoms,including.

(dreatime.net)

• Dizziness or a general feeling of "being out of it"
• General aches and pains
• Grinding teeth, clenched jaw
• Headaches
• Indigestion or acid reflux symptoms
• Increase in or loss of appetite
• Muscle tension in neck, face or shoulders
• Problems sleeping
• Racing heart
• Cold and sweaty palms
• Tiredness, exhaustion
• Trembling/shaking
• Weight gain or loss
• Upset stomach, diarrhea
• Sexual difficulties
• Irritability, impatience, forgetfulness

-Tips for Reducing Stress-
People can learn to manage stress and lead happier, healthier lives. Here are some tips to help you keep stress at bay.

(huffingpost.co.uk)

• Keep a positive attitude.
• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques; try meditation, yoga, or tai-chi.
one of the best yoga practice I could recommend is from Denise Austin you can watch her lesson from her YoutubeChannel.
• Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
• Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Learn to manage your time more effectively.
• Set limits appropriately and say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.
• Make time for hobbies and interests.
• Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
• Don't rely on alcohol, drugs, or food to reduce stress. Ease up on caffeine, too.
• Seek out social support. Spend enough time with those you love.
• Seek treatment with a psychologist or other mental health professional trained in stress management or biofeedback techniques to learn more healthy ways of dealing with the stress in your life.

How to Avoid Being with the Abuser or Batterer Person

 I received a call from a friend yesterday,  It's been a years not keeping in touch with her since she decide to stop working and become a full-time housewife to her husband.
 I thought it was a call to say hi and how are you now? long time no see can we meet for a dinner sometimes?  but I was shock to hear her crying voice on the other line, I ask her if what happen? she answered, with hesitation voice that she and her husband had a fight to end up Beating her. beating your wife or a partner is a very serious matter and that's what I am gonna concentrate in this articles.

   there a lots of studies around who attempt to explain why some men use violence against their partners. maybe Some of those studies include the following: alcohol dependency, drugs, economic hardship, family dysfunction, lack of spirituality, poor communication skills, provocation by women,stress and third-party.

for me, even if these factors are associated but not a causes for battering women,  still the violence of men against women will not come to an end. why? I think the abuser still using violence as an effective method for gaining and keeping his control over someone else.

(adaezewrites.com)

below are the sign of batterer and abuser person. maybe there some of you are not satisfied with the result but consider it as a reference for your own beliefs,there are some characteristics that fit the profile of abusers and batterer man.
-the Batterer Person Has-

# an abuser or batterer - has low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Although he may seem to be successful, inside he feels inadequate.

# an abuser or batterer - want to control a woman if its akin for independence.

# an abuser or batterer - finds external excuses for his behavior. He will blame his violence on having had a bad day, alcohol or drug use, his partner’s behavior or anything that comes to mind to excuse his violent actions.

# an abuser or batterer -  is Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love.

# an abuser or batterer - are Shifting blame for his actions and their effects to others, especially to woman, or to external factors such as job stress.(christianitytoday.com)

# an abuser or batterer - was Seeing a woman as his property.

# an abuser/batterer - may display some warning signs such as: a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and/or unpredictability.(lifehacker.com)

# an abuser/batterer -  sees women as objects. He does not view women as people. He has no respect for women as a group. He sees women as property and sexual objects.

choose wisely a right person to be with.

Childhood Reminiscene: if your a Child of 90's Watching this Video will Bring you Back again

we're in an age where everything is overplayed for the simple fact that corporate companies want money, money and then some more, the millennium was a turning point for people's lives essentially, and most just miss their childhoods as their adult lives began after the millennium. this time I just wanted to share this video for all child of 90’s, like me. the reasons why growing up in the '90s was amazing, maybe All generations have their nostalgia moments.  Everyone thinks back to the "good 'ol days," but really the only thing good about them was the fact that kids don't have a lot of responsibilities holding them down but I could Say The generation of 90's is very special,Remembering those little crazy things of your childhood.

if one of this thing you spent doing on that times, then you probably had most awesome random moments.

little crazy things are worth to be remember
and i promise it can make you smile remembering that times. enjoy.

Japanese Manners and Etiquette: Learned this things Before Going to Japan

proper and correct Etiquette are very important to all Japanese. but if you are a foreigner in Japan you must need to know and learn at least some basic manner rules in japan,so here are some of the basic manners to remember when visiting japan or for those who have a plan on a trip.

Manners in a Door or Genkan

when entering the house or some restaurant and you see a clean line of slippers and shoes handled accordingly, remember to follow this rule.
 because the doors in japan is still considered outside and is the place for people to take off and put their shoes.  be careful not to step on the door without taking off your shoes or slippers. It is good manner to turn your shoes to point towards the door after you have removed them.
if your a tourist and visiting some of historic temples,shrine and castle here in japan, i recommend you to wear shoes that can be easily removed for it can be forced you to take it off.

(Editors image)

Manners in Japanese table

restaurant in japan had different types, other are common types of settings chairs and tables but there are some settings like tatami type that are rare to see in other country except here in japan so it may help for you to remember and learn tatami type of restaurant here in this page to avoid getting confused if how you should do when you encountered tatami type of restaurant. like in Japanese door step shoes and slippers must be removed before stepping on to tatami type of restaurant.  the waitress automatically give a you a Wet towels  (おしぼり)when you sitting on but there are some places that have wet towel already prepared it in the table so free to use it to clean your hands.  to order your food it is a nice attitude to let others to order their own preferred food first than yours, but when your order arrived first and others aren't yet, don't eat first but wait others orders to arrived in the table before start to eat and say "itadakimasu/いただきます" means  "I gratefully receive",and say the phrase "gochisōsama deshita" means "thank you for the food" after eating.

(phanhin.com)

it is really good manner to clean and return all your dishes on how they were at the start of the meal after you finished all of it. it means replacing the lids on dishes by your your chopsticks.


When visiting Japanese Temples

when visiting this kind of place remember to behave calmly and respectfully. by Showing  your respect you should give a short prayer in front of the holy object.
in some shrine or temples, you will see a lots of visitors burning incense in large burners. pick  a bundle and light them, leave them burn for a few seconds to create a smoke and then extinguish the flame by waving your hand rather than by blowing it out.  put the incense into the incense burner and fan some smoke towards yourself as the smoke is believed to have healing power.
Photography is usually permitted on the temple grounds. It is forbidden indoors at some temples. Watch for signs before taking a photo the place.

(Editors image)

Gift giving manners in Japanese

 every Twice a year, in June and in December, it is common in Japanese, family,friends and relatives to give a gifts. and they called it ochugen and oseibo for showing respect. the common price of this gifts, about 5000 yen it contains household items or something similar.  in company gift giving of employees coincide for receiving a special bonus in addition to their salaries.
the Gifts in sets of four are usually avoided because it is considered unlucky number in Japanese. When handing over a present, both the gift giver and recipient use both hands.

(image for Ochugen and Oseibo)

(http://goo.gl/ymGNt4)

What are the Bad Luck Age in Japanese Culture

like Chinese People Beliefs, Japanese cultured had a bad and good belief also, when they are reaching the age of bad luck numbers you will see them doing some things like approaching temple,having an offering,praying on a fall and climbing on a mountain.(earthincolors.com) 

 maybe some of you not aware of this beliefs neither i too, what are the Japanese men and women bad luck ages? Japanese had a three reference for being an unlucky age for men, in one place, the most danger ages for men are 41,42 and 61. 

how about women? i know you're wondering, some Japanese friends said are 19,26,32 and 33.and for children are 3,9 and 13 is considered unlucky as we known for an unlucky date also, some Japanese i know also told me that equal 88 is the total unluckiest ages of men. don't know yet whats the meaning of that, but now i get to understand quite about their beliefs. why Japanese keep on believing this misfortune age belief as of now? 

 -Basic reason- 

 that is all because of their language meaning. in japan language the no. 4 was "shi", 2 was "ni" so! 4= shi + 2=ni = shi-ni if you joined it,could "SHINI" and in Japanese word 'shini' means "Death" I'm Amazed with their simple and rare basing, you will notice that Japanese are  dedicated on numbers. 

Japanese numbers and its meaning in Japanese language: 42= death 9= suffering 33=trouble and disaster 

-Trivia-

did you know that Japanese hospital never use or do not make room no. 4 and 9, if you ride on the elevator in japan you will notice that some numbers are missing.

Bad luck age are known "Yakudoshi" in Japanese language, and all Japanese people who reached the boundaries of the age above are most people who approaching temples and get offering to get away with this course and off misfortune.

(flickr.com)

What are the Negative Effects of Jelousy with your Relationship and Life

Jealousy can be harmless if it keep moderated,because if not, it can turn out in hand very easily. jealous had a lot's of negative effects and mostly cause on break up of relationship,the person who felt this will result to feel insecurities.,
that is why it is important to look and moderate if what you feel is normal or overreacting before it become worst.

-Negative Effects of Jealousy in a Relationship-

* fighting - Jealousy can make your atmosphere inevitably to fight with your partner. you or him will be angry for losing your trust each .

and you will notice that eventually of fight so much that you don't find time for anything else and just want to express your angered emotion.(source cravebits.com)

* wrong accusations - you will Find yourself in a feeling of jealous on useless thing. that feeling will force you to falsely accuse your partner.and it will happen more and more often until it escalate to complete problem. Accusing your partner of something that you don't have proof is poison for the relationship.

(source marianne.cz)

* break up - if you have no way to get over with that jealousy , you will find yourself alone. if anyone who accused of doing something wrong with someone if they really are not. will turn and leads to depression for feeling alone.

(source georgiasjuice.com)

* illness - Jealousy issue can make and cause your mind and health ill. It can create stress,nausea,nerves illness, upset stomach, diarrhea and a lots of physical problems. jealousy issues may lead to more and more serious sickness. and lead to more tension in the relationship.

(source theguardian.com)

if you find yourself still allowing jealousy to consume your life, maybe it is time for you to seek counseling to find out what is the mean cause of it. or maybe it will be your past relationship, or how you parents raised you,the enviroment you have or it could be because your present relationship isn't working well already. make a move now to prevent jealousy for destroying your entire life.